Ponytail
by Grasspaw
Summary: Upon meeting up with Remus at the beginning of their sixth year, the Marauders make a horrifying discovery: Remus has grown his hair out.
1. Chapter 1

**Heh heh. I was browsing deviantArt the other day and noticed how often Remus is drawn with long hair, and... this idea was born. I know it's extremely unlikely, but it amused me. I own nothing.**

Sixteen-year-old Sirius Black banged his way into the compartment on the Hogwarts express that the Marauders had claimed as their own, dragging his trunk behind him and laughing at something James had just said. He turned around and checked on the threshold. There was a stranger in the compartment. A girl with shoulder-length, sandy brown hair was sitting in a seat by the window, reading a book.

"Sorry," Sirius said brusquely, "but, uh, this is kind of our compartment..."

"Of course it's our compartment," the girl said with Remus's voice, not looking up. "I don't know why you feel the need to tell me that. It's been our compartment for years."

James peeked over Sirius's shoulder and let out a whoop of laughter as the werewolf finally looked up from his book, raising an eyebrow.

"Remus! I thought you were a girl with all that hair!" Sirius wailed, dragging his trunk into the compartment and collapsing into a seat across from the other boy. Remus smiled sheepishly. James continued to laugh.

"Mum's been too busy to cut it lately," he said, tucking a strand behind his ear. It fell back down, too short to stay back. He rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance. Sirius stared, fascinated. Remus with long hair? What had the world come to? It had been shaggy at the end of last year, yes, but this? It reached his shoulders!

James was wheezing with laughter, practically rolling about in the seat next to Remus. The brunette poked him experimentally.

"You'd better get it cut, mate," Sirius advised him, having to speak loudly of James's howling. Remus nodded.

"I was going to ask Lily once we got to school. How was your summer?"

And the subject of Remus's hair was dropped. Sirius assumed it would take a week at the most for the studious boy to get his hair trimmed to what was considered a "decent" length and what it had been the first five years Sirius had known him.

A week passed. Remus's hair continued to grow.

A month passed. Remus's hair was long enough to tuck behind his ears.

Christmas break came and went. Sirius spent the holiday with the Potters, and when he returned to Hogwarts Remus was tying his hair back in a loose ponytail to keep it out of his face.

Sirius silently worried. What was wrong with Remus? Why wasn't he getting it cut? He finally asked, and Remus just shrugged, absently raking his hand back through it.

"I dunno. I kind of like it, I guess."

Another two months passed. Remus's hair kept growing.

March twenty-seventh and the mystery was finally explained. Sirius and James returned to Gryffindor tower after a romp through the forest as Padfoot and Prongs, and froze at the sight that met them.

Remus was sitting on the floor in front of one of the armchairs, his legs stretched out and a book in his lap. His head was bent, but his hair wasn't falling in his face the way it usually did.

Because there was a girl sitting in the chair behind him, running her fingers through it.

James and Sirius turned to each other, their looks silently conveying shock (Remus knew girls existed? He actually liked them? He _had_ one?), horror (Ew! Remus had a girlfriend!), disbelief (Their eyes were playing tricks on them, surely), jealousy (Isn't that Maeve Grayson? But she's _pretty!_How did Remus score her?), amusement (Remus and Maeve, sitting in a tree...), understanding (So that's what the hair's for. That sly dog!)...

Remus had apparently realized it was them that had just entered, because his ears began glowing and what little they could see of his face was now tinged pink. Sirius shot James a wicked grin.

"I am going to get so much mileage out of this."

James looked thoughtful. "Think Lily would like it if I grew my hair out?"

Remus kept the hair, but not the girl. Two weeks later Maeve abruptly left him for a Ravenclaw. Remus accepted the whole thing philisophically, pulling through with the help of much friendly sympathy, chocolate, and Firewhiskey.

Another two months later, the night before the end-of-year feast, Remus peeled himself off his favorite armchair, shook back his hair that now fell to his shoulder blades, and pulled it back into his signature loose ponytail, then went to go stand at the bottom of the stairs. "Lily!" he called.

"Be there in a second," she shouted back. "I'm almost done with my homework."

Remus leaned against the wall, perfectly at his ease, seemingly unaware of the looks two fourth-year girls were giving him, but Sirius knew his old friend well enough to recognize the barest twitch at the corner of the werewolf's lip as a grin fighting to break through, and it occurred to him that all the attention from females had upped Remus's confidence to previously unknown levels. He smirked to himself. Girls could do that.

Lily finally came down the stairs and shot Remus a smile, shoving something into her pocket. "All right then. Shall we go?"

And they walked out into the halls, obligated to patrol the school as part of their prefect duties. James and Sirius started a chess game, and Peter attempted to read.

However, nearly an hour later, when they still weren't back and the Marauders were the only ones left in the common room, James pulled out the map. Since he and Lily had begun a tentative friendship in the past few weeks, and Remus had been receiving more and more attention from girls over the past year, James had been uneasy with prefect duty, despite knowing that Remus would never make a move on Lily.

"Remus, Remus, Remus... Ah! Here we are! What are they doing? They're moving way too fast... Is he _running away from her_? What did he do?" James fumed, certain that Remus had done something to anger Lily.

"Wait, he's coming, put the map away," Sirius said, and James muttered the closing phrase before shoving the parchment back into his bag at the exact moment the portrait swung open and Remus entered, his hands over his head.

"Remus!" James snapped. "What did you-"

"Merlin's beard," Sirius breathed, as Remus slowly dropped his hands.

"She cut it off," he said in a small voice, practically whimpering.

Remus's hair was gone.

Well, not completely gone. But it was most definitely shorter, barely reaching his chin, and the ends were ragged. Remus was chalk white, and it was clear he had just undergone a huge shock as he slowly stumbled over to sit in front of the fire. Peter jumped up, allowing the boy to sit in his usual chair, and Remus did so. His hands were shaking.

"My hair," he said faintly.

"I'll get him some chocolate," James decided, tearing upstairs. Sirius, helpful as ever, poked Remus in the cheek, and Peter just stared, horrified, at Remus's new haircut.

James returned a minute later, shoving a bar of Honeyduke's chocolate into his friend's hands. Remus stared at it, unmoving. "Eat it," James urged him. "You'll feel better, I promise."

Remus took a tentative bite, then began devouring the chocolate. After the last bite had disappeared into his mouth - and the others had continued staring at him - he gave a rueful smile and ran his fingers through his now short hair.

"I guess it was getting kind of long, huh?"

"Just a little, mate," Sirius said, grinning at him.

"She got behind me and snipped it off, right above the rubber band," Remus said, shaking his head. "She'd mentioned once she liked it shorter, but I didn't think it actually bothered her that much..."

James shrugged. "Lily likes short hair."

"Yeah, but cutting it off just 'cause she likes shorter hair?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes. "You have weird taste in women, Prongs."

"I do not!" James said hotly, crossing his arms, but an argument was averted by the appearance of Lily, finally entering the common room. In her right hand was a pair of scissors, and in her left was what used to be Remus's ponytail, nearly a foot long.

"Sorry, Remus," she said, flushing. "But it was getting nasty."

"I took care of it," he said, offended. "Washed it and brushed it and whatnot."

"You primped," she said bluntly. "Only Black is supposed to primp."

"Well, what can I say, Evans," Sirius said with a killer smile. "Natural as my great looks are, upkeep is a necessity."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Look, you sort of ran off after I cut this. Mind if I snip off the loose ends? I won't cut it any shorter," she said hurriedly, seeing his apprehensive look (James snickered). "But it looks sort of... odd."

"It does," Peter chimed in. "It's all long in front."

"And the ends are uneven," James pointed out.

"You do need a trim," Sirius added, examining him critically. Remus threw up his hands in exasperation, letting out a defeated laugh. Lily grinned and waved her scissors dramatically.

"Have at ye!"

The next morning, when Remus came down the stairs, yawning, a hush fell over the common room and all eyes followed him as he very calmly sat down to read.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Remus rescued his old ponytail from Sirius (the heir to the Black fortune had been selling the hairs to numerous girls, two for a Knut), the Marauders packed, the Feast was eaten.

And it was during the feast that Remus, walking down the table to sit with his friends, just happened to cut off Lily Evan's braid.


	2. Chapter 2

**So my little sister and I were talking about what some of those girls would do with Remus's hair, and what Remus would do with Lily's hair, and what _Lily_ would do with Lily's hair, and... I don't know. I don't like this as much as the first one, but here it is. I own nothing but the plot and two or Remus Lupin's hairs (only one Knut! Go see Sirius Black for more info).**

Georgina Rowles stared at the two long, sandy brown hairs draped over her palm, her eyes huge. Remus Lupin's hairs, she thought incredulously. She was actually holding Remus Lupin's hair!

The door to the fifth-year girl's dormitory burst open and her friend Fairy May burst in, wild-eyed.

"Did you see?" she gasped, collapsing on the bed. "Sirius was selling Remus's hair! But then I couldn't get any 'cause Remus came over and took it back!"

She groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes in dismay. Georgina grinned.

"Oh, Fairy... Look what I've got..." she sang out, and fairy opened her eyes, staring in awe at the hairs held triumphantly in Georgina's fist.

"Can... can I have one?" she whispered reverently, and Georgina nodded magnanimously, gently picking one up and handing it to her friend.

"I think I'll put it in my locket," Fairy said dreamily. "And keep it with me always. Do you think it's long enough to braid into a ring?"

"You'd have to use magic to reinforce it," Georgina said doubtfully. "It's just one hair."

"Oh, but isn't it a wonderful hair?" Fairy sighed, clutching it to her chest with a blissful expression on her face. "What are you going to do with yours?"

"I'm going to make my own Remus Lupin!" Georgina cried, laying the hair carefully on her favorite pillow.

"Is there a spell for that?" Fairy asked eagerly. "Because if there is, then I'm doing the same!"

"Well," Georgina said hesitantly, "I've never seen one, but I'm good at this sort of thing. I can make it up!"

She took a deep breath, shook back the sleeves of her robes, and pointed her wand at the hair on the pillow. "_Wingardium Lupin_!"

Nothing happened.

"Petrificus Totalupin!"

Still nothing.

"Lupify!"

No reaction.

"Enremuso!"

This time, something happened, but it was not at all what Georgina expected.

The pillow on which sat Remus's hair caught fire, and a smell of burning hair reached the girls' noses as they stared, horrified.

The fire burned itself out quickly, but Georgina's favorite pillow was now ash, and Remus's hair was gone.

Fairy made a soft "oh" sound of sympathy, covering her mouth with her hands. Georgina stared at her, then her eyes narrowed.

"Give it back!" she snarled.

"Give what back?" Fairy asked.

"The hair! The one I gave you!"

"No!" Fairy said, horrified. "It's mine!"

"I bought it!"

"So you could give it to me!"

"GIVE IT BACK!"

The sounds of the ensuing catfight carried down the stairs from the girls' dormitory, and Remus Lupin, passing by, threw an anxious look up the stairs before continuing to walk towards his own dormitory. When he reached his room, Sirius and Peter lay sprwaled across one of the beds, examing the Marauder's map, and James was hurriedly packing his trunk.

Remus leaned against the doorway, smirking. "Sirius, remind me to thank you for this later," he called, and Sirius looked up.

"I always like being appreciated. What are you thanking me for?"

"A brilliant idea. Oh, Ja-a-ames..."

The spectacled boy looked up. "What is it, Remus? I'm trying to... Oh, _wow,_" he breathed, slowly straightening as he saw what was in Remus hand.

A foot and a half of braided red hair that James would recognized anywhere.

"You... you..."

"It's all right, James," Peter assured him. "Lily likes short hair, remember?" he added, trying to hold back his laughter. Sirius was snickering next to him.

"Yes," James said, walking forward as though in a trance as he reached out to touch his idol's hair. But Remus pulled it out of his grasp, smirking.

"Ah, ah, ah, James. There's a matter of payment to be worked out," he said, with a smirk at Sirius and Peter. They were both grinning.

"Payment?" James asked dazedly. "Remus, Remus, Remus," he gasped dramatically, falling to his knees and hugging Remus's legs, "I'll do anything! Just let me have it!"

"Well," Remus said, drawing the word out, "I rather thought two Knuts per hair-"

"I only sold yours for a Knut for two hairs," Sirius pointed out, and Remus grinned.

"Yes, but those girls weren't as desperate as Prongs here," he said, patting the boy's head. "So, as I said, two Knuts per hair, or two Galleons for the whole thing."

"Done!" James shouted, leaping up and diving into his trunk for the money he needed. He handed it Remus, who pocketed the money smugly and gave James the braid, which the youngest Potter held close to his chest.

"Lily's hair," he said in a breathy voice, falling backwards onto his bed.

Lily's hair was, at the moment, the topic of conversation in the sixth year Gryffindor girl's dormitory.

"You know," Alice Longbottom said, sitting behind the redhead on Lily's bed and combing her friend's shoulder-length hair, "I think it looks good."

"Do you?" Lily asked anxiously, holding up a mirror.

"Oh, yes," said Taylor McAndrews, sitting cross-legged on the trunk at the end of Lily's bed and nodding enthusiastically as she examined the other girl. "It frames your face quite nicely."

"Very nicely," added Phyllis Greene. "And now that we've given you bangs..."

The other three girls had spent the past forty-five minutes trimming Lily's hair, fixing the "absolutely awful" haircut that "that bloody idiot" had given her at the Feast.

"It's beautiful," Taylor gushed. "I wish I could do that with my hair, but bangs look awful on me."

"You really think so?"

"Of course," Alice said calmly, always the sensible one. With a small, secretive smile, she added, "And I'm sure James will love it."

"Alice!" Lily gasped, whirling around, and Alice laughed, dodging the mirror that Lily teasingly swung at her.

"Admit it," Taylor said, laughing. "You know you like him!"

"I do not!" Lily said, blushing furiously. "He's an arrogant toerag!"

"So you've been calling him for the past five years or so. But don't you think you spend a _bit_too much time talking about him for someone who hates him as much as you do?"

"It's true," Phyllis said, nodding. "You're always talking about him."

"Thinking about him," Alice chimed in.

_"Dreaming_about him," Taylor giggled. "Face it, Lilykins, dearest, you fancy him."

Lily scoffed, her blush fading as she looked around at her three best friends. Should she tell them?

"Well," she said with deliberate slowness, "I do sort of like..." She paused, still debating.

Phyllis and Alice leaned in closer, but Taylor went ahead and punched her fist up in the air, nearly falling off the trunk. "Yes! I knew it!"

"...Remus."

The three girls recoiled in shock, and this time Taylor did fall off the trunk. Lily grinned cheerfully at their flabbergasted looks.

"Right, well, I left my Potions book downstairs, I'd better go grab it so I can finish packing. See you!"

And she flounced out of the room, laughing to herself. Poor Remus. As if he didn't have enough problems, now her roommates would be playing matchmaker all next year.

"Revenge is so sweet."


End file.
